Calling all girls to ROC and RISE. As you should, must, can and will. My heart sinks so low when teen girls tell me they’ve been told they can’t be in the ‘group’ any more. Out. Rejected. No longer wanted. Recess and lunch breaks becomes a frightening and lonely time. The girl wondering around the school. Is she the ousted one?
Is that you? Is that your daughter or your friend?
The Group Leader… usually the ‘popular girl’ with a whole heap of unhealthy power and inflated ego (perhaps even battling her own issues), combines forces with her desperate-to-please ‘Deputy Leader’ and together they make a ‘group’ decision that the GIRL is no longer welcome in their group.
Sad, but it has to be done. GIRL has to be told.
Then, they carefully select the group’s ‘fringe player’ (the girl who is hanging on to her position in the group by a very skinny and fragile thread), to be the chosen one who delivers the group’s news to the unsuspecting and soon to be ousted GIRL from the exclusive nest. This is news has to be done in the nicest possible way of course. (eye roll emoji)
Ultimatums are often an integral art of the fringe player’s message. She reveals – If you are a bit louder, or tone it down, if you aren’t so crazy or annoying…… or you are more confident ….. then you could may be able to say in the group? But it’s not here decision, the fringe-player has no power.
Delivery is somber but fringe girl has a job to do. Her security and place in the group is at risk. She must carry out the ousting of GIRL as instructed.
GIRL… Upon receiving the news, is now on her own, lost, questioning, exposed and feeling anxious as hell – she needs to recover and find a new group. Quickly. Immediately. Panic pushes GIRL to the next group which shows the slightest sign of NICE. Hopefully they’re the nice girls she’s heard her people talk about. She’s hopeful, so so hopeful. They do exist don’t they?
I hear this story far too often. I know it far too well. If I had a dollar….. My next move is to help GIRL restore her self-belief, nurture her natural personality and recover as strongly as she can. But being thrown from the nest leaves scars on the tender hearts of teenage girls. We can help. Please speak with your daughters. This is everyone’s problem and everyone’s responsibility to build a girl world rich in goodness, connection and care. Someone’s daughter is the – The GIRL, The Leader, The Deputy and The fringe player. The new nice group.
Can you help? Have a conversation? Ask a question? Lead the way? 💓So teens can ROC and RISE, as they should, they must, they can and they will.
Giving teens critical tools to find their fit, call in their crew and feel like they belong, is very possible. ROC and RISE brings those tools to life.